Intention - an act or instance of determining mentally upon some
action or result.

Have you ever had great plans going into your evening with your spouse, but before you know it, it’s 10:30 PM and nothing was accomplished? Have you ever told yourself, “Today is the day that I will stop and get her flowers on the way home,” and yet it doesn’t happen. Or what about the thought, “Tonight is the night that we are going to set aside some solid time for the bedroom,” and in a blink you are brushing your teeth together without anything "getting done."

Sometimes it just comes down to intention. I intended to do that. We
all intend to do those things. The issue is getting them done.

Tonight, I’d like to give you a couple of quick thoughts on follow through.

1) Set yourself up for success

If you intend to do something, the easiest way to not get it done is to not set up a plan in the first place. How can you set up extra time for your spouse if you leave 30 minutes late from work? If you want to
do something, set yourself up for success by making a plan first. Don’t let your moment slip through your fingers. Plan ahead and plan smart.

2) Follow your gut

If you find yourself dreaming about something that you want to do for
your spouse, chances are, you are right. If you feel like you want to reach out and do something special, then there is a reason that you are feeling that way. And your spouse probably feels the same way. So
follow your gut. But don’t forget to plan it!

3) Don’t sweat the small stuff

So, even the most well made plans can be thrown off. Often times, it’s not your fault. Don’t feel bad about it. Speaking only for myself, I sometimes let my plans be thrown off by small things that I could
power through. But I don’t. I allow the derailed plan to devastate my mood and outlook. My advice would be this. If it’s something that you can work though, then don’t sweat the small stuff. Push hard to make that intention a reality.

4) If in doubt, adapt

On a related note, if your plan cannot be executed the way that you originally had it planned, improvise. Adapt to the situation that you are placed in. Maybe you couldn’t get around leaving 30 minutes late to work. Maybe traffic caught you off guard and those fresh cut roses can’t be bought. So what? You’re smart! You’re clever! Make it work it work to your advantage. Tell your spouse that you are taking them out on a date instead of delaying dinner that much longer. Take your hunny on a walk and pick a flower on the trail. You’re as cool as the other side of the pillow. Adapt and make it work.

5) Don’t allow the failure to stop your future plans

Finally, some things just cannot be helped. Some plans are doomed from
the start. This happens to the best of us. I know it’s frustrating. When it happens to us I can’t help but feel disappointed. But this is life. It’s how it works. But don’t allow that disappointment to poison you against trying again. Again, if your gut is telling you to do something, you’ve got a good chance that you are on the right track. So dust yourself off and try again.

Just a couple of thoughts for you from a guy who’s intentions have all too often stayed in the realm of the imagination.

Question – What happened last time you had a great idea for you and your spouse? How did it go? Did your plans change?

- Mitch

This week at church, one of our elders made the comment that "no living breathing organism, like the church, can exist on a plateau for long if at all." Essentially, they are either getting stronger or  weaker.  The wisdom and applicability of his comment struck me: this is not just true for churches.  

I found myself thinking, 'What about my marriage?'

Mitch and I have passed the infamous "two year mark" that so many marriage books highlight. Apparently, after two years of marriage, the newlywed stage has passed and the real struggles emerge. Knowing this, I thought long and hard about our marriage and whether it was growing stronger or quietly weaker.

As I turned this thought over in my head I came to recognize how easy it was to buy into the "plateau misconception." So often we confuse complacency and our comfort level as a plateau in our marriages. We assume everything is fine and we will just keep on like this with no problems. When, in reality, complacency is robbing us from the inside out. Just as there are things such as caffeine that pull calcium out of our bones making them weaker without us even realizing it, so it is with complacency in our marriages. 

So where is your marriage? Are you as a couple, as two becoming one being, growing stronger or weaker?